I’m a Tanita Tikarim song

Her dulcet sadness 

Haunting me

And in my head I sing along

“I think of you”:

And as I breath – I think of you,

And if I walk – I think of you,

I’ll fake a smile – and think of you,

Or fall asleep – still dream of you. 

I know you were my biggest fan,

My friend and now and then

I’m calm enough again  

             – and think of you.

If I cry once it’s not enough,

If I try not to it’s too much,

And I’m not strong enough

To miss you yet,

 Can’t settled on it yet, 

And I can’t contemplate 

You gone and yet I do.

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I’m at the Plaza. The place he proclaimed visitation with like an accomplishment: “i went to the Plaza”. The same intonation he has when he looks at me and says “my daughter”. Gloria Jeans and raisin toast make me feel like they are with me. Dad and Bill. Matching bonnets. Slightly different accents. Arguing about details of the day Dad failed as lookout. This is the last removal day.