the Fitzroy Flasher

art and ideas: photos and words: mainly and sometimes.

Whether

December 7, 2018


Like mildew on leather

I was musty with trust

That antecedent

Precursive verse –

Of the unknown:

We laughed, I was laughing

Weathering busty stances

A rocking horse

A silhouette

The shadows danced

As shadows do

Must settling

Trust too

Like angel dust

On every surface.

Unsated

December 2, 2018


A construct of exchange is in my pocket

They say it burns a hole and so it seems

It scorches the landscape of my fingers

And as I deftly touch count the amount

Of loose change I have for an ‘avo’ on toast’

I come across a scene you couldn’t dream of.

And I realise that I revere this evil curse,

But even worse, that I’ve failed to see,

You cannot return wood to a tree.

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Six Pack

November 28, 2018


A six pack of Canadians

On the side of the road

One can out and open

He gently lays it down

And straightens to walk

With an uneasy swagger

His tobacco red fingers

On tobacco grey beard

And on his face anger

I grudgingly approach

And our eyes meet

So I nod and he smiles

His faint strength shames

Me and my passive evasion.

Gluons in a Car Park

November 24, 2018


Your hand outstretched against my breast as we brake too fast:

My fist clenches just the way you hate it-

As I stare at the approaching distance.

‘Don’t do that’ you ask, so my grasp loosens.

I shift gaze and lean into you as best I can,

To tell you about gluons mediating forces between quarks.

You let me tell you that these gluons are inside you, inside me…

The fabric of the multiverses:

I tell you this will be the answer to everything,

Everything, I emphasise against your doubting,

Life, death, and every being.

I wonder how it explains love,

As you ‘Sydney’ park outside of Aldi,

And as we stack bags into the boot,

I brush my hand against your little finger,

And I still think you might hate me,

As I undertake to trust you soon.

But soon has now been decades coming,

And I keep trying agains the odds.

So now with this soft touch of your finger,

As it lingers still I reckon I feel

The exchange of a very strong force:

Love gluons between quarks,

Between you and me,

In an Aldi car park.

Since last I…

September 1, 2018


It has been a year and 23 days since I posted. The last post was about missing my Da. He has been dead for a year and about 50 days. I have written a lot about grief before, but never before have I spent so much time in grief, and not writing. It was unexpected but I lost my voice.

It is hard to return to this page, and this stage in my life. I do not know how to make my very disparate interests cohesive. I don’t spend much time looking for new graffiti these days. I don’t even take photos of all that I find. I love podcasts about Blockchain. I fall asleep listening to youtube clips about Sophia, Hanson Robotics AI pop star.

It aches to labour on my grief too long and so I instead I distract myself. I have discovered Juggling the Jenkins. I use Pinterest more and Facebook less.  I wonder if smart glass shares would be a profitable investment.  I have a wallet full of cryptocurrency but since I upgraded my iPhone, have lost access to it. My Google Authenticator needs to be authenticated.

So that is the nutshell and I am in it. Maybe my new brand is new things. Pop culture. Let’s see what I come up with. In the meantime, here are some photographs of stuff.

Think of You

August 18, 2017


I’m a Tanita Tikarim song

Her dulcet sadness 

Haunting me

And in my head I sing along

“I think of you”:

And as I breath – I think of you,

And if I walk – I think of you,

I’ll fake a smile – and think of you,

Or fall asleep – still dream of you. 

I know you were my biggest fan,

My friend and now and then

I’m calm enough again  

             – and think of you.

If I cry once it’s not enough,

If I try not to it’s too much,

And I’m not strong enough

To miss you yet,

 Can’t settled on it yet, 

And I can’t contemplate 

You gone and yet I do.

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